Smart Enough

Chuck said, No, I'm not smart enough to do that.

Yeah, I know. I was shocked when the words left his mouth too.

Ugly

*** WARNING . . . FOR ADULTS ONLY ***

That intro guarantees that everyone will read this post, right?

When describing how ugly the woman he hired to work on our house was, Chuck said, She is slightly behind a sheep in the fuckability scale but a step ahead of a stick.

I never said he was classy all the time. To be fair, she really was the ugliest woman I've ever seen. I would feel sorry for her if she hadn't stolen from us.

Pious

Chuck said to me at lunch today, Aren't you glad I'm not pious?

ER

In response to the emergency room doctor's instructions to come back between 7 a.m. and 9 a.m. on a weekday to have Evie's staples removed because that is when they are not busy, Chuck said,

Lesson learned: it is perfectly okay to let your children run with scissors, just do it in the morning during the week.

Rules

Chuck said, Rules are for people who need to be constrained by rules.

Oh so profound. I feel like I'm listening to Jack Handey's Deep Thoughts.

Naked

At 2:19 a.m. Chuck said in his sleep, It's a little different being buck naked in someone else's house.

Wish I knew what he was dreaming about.

More motivation

Chuck said, Or my motivational poster would be a picture of an old man scratching his balls and saying, "If it itches, scratch it."

Looking for Motivation?

Chuck said, If I wrote a motivational poster it would say, "Eh."

I wonder sometimes

Chuck said, A room looks more complete if it has window dressings.

Fire Bomb

Chuck said, Don't put that on the blog or someone will fire-bomb our house.